Okay so.

I was at brunch last Sunday when my friend cut me off mid-sentence with "I need you to hold space for me right now."

We were talking about her Hinge date.

Not like, childhood trauma or anything. Just a mediocre first date where the guy ordered a salad. And suddenly I'm being asked to "hold space" like I'm her licensed therapist instead of her friend who's trying to enjoy eggs benedict?

That's when it hit me - we've all become walking therapy sessions. And honestly? It's getting weird.

The Rise of Therapy Speak (And Why We Can't Stop Using It)

Look, I get it. Mental health awareness is amazing. We've come so far from the days when talking about feelings was considered "weak" or whatever. But somewhere along the way, we went from destigmatizing therapy to... this.

Everyone's suddenly got boundaries. Everything's triggering. We're all processing our trauma in the Whole Foods checkout line.

And the thing is - some of this language is actually helpful! But when your coworker tells you she can't make the 2pm meeting because she's "protecting her energy," you start to wonder if maybe we've gone a bit too far.

This girl gets it. Like, when did normal human emotions become pathologized to death?

The Buzzwords That Have Lost All Meaning

Let me break down the biggest offenders I keep hearing everywhere:

"Gaslighting"
Real definition: A form of psychological manipulation where someone makes you question your reality.
How people use it now: "My boyfriend said he texted me back but I don't see it - he's totally gaslighting me!"

No babe. He probably just forgot to hit send. That's not gaslighting, that's just... being human?

"Trauma"
This one makes me especially uncomfortable. Actual trauma is serious and deserves proper support. But I've heard people describe their "trauma" from:

- Getting a bad haircut
- Their favorite show getting cancelled
- Someone unfollowing them on Instagram

Meanwhile, people with actual PTSD are watching this like... really?

"Boundaries"
Boundaries are healthy! Setting limits is important! But "I have a boundary around negative energy" is not a boundary - it's just you not wanting to hear about your friend's bad day. There's a difference between protecting your mental health and being a bad friend.

"Narcissist"
Everyone's ex is suddenly a narcissist. Your boss is a narcissist. That girl who didn't text you back? Narcissist.

Actual Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a clinical diagnosis. Your ex who was kind of selfish sometimes probably just... sucked. Not every jerk has a personality disorder.

YES. This is exactly what I'm talking about.

When Self-Care Becomes Self-Obsession

Here's where it gets really messy.

The whole therapy speak thing has created this culture where everything is about YOU. Your feelings, your boundaries, your healing journey, your triggers.

Which sounds great in theory! Self-awareness is important! But I've watched people use therapy language to basically opt out of being a decent human.

"I can't help you move this weekend, I'm setting boundaries."
"I forgot your birthday because I'm focusing on myself right now."
"I can't apologize because that would be betraying my authentic self."

Like... no. Sometimes you're just being selfish and slapping a therapy label on it.

The irony? All this focus on mental health strategies and emotional wellness is making some people incredibly self-absorbed. Which is probably not great for their actual mental health?

The Social Media Effect

TikTok therapy is its own beast entirely.

I've seen countless videos of people diagnosing themselves (and others) with complex psychological conditions based on like, three symptoms they read in a caption. Attachment styles, personality disorders, neurodivergence - all being simplified into 60-second videos with trending sounds.

And look, some mental health content creators are genuinely helpful! But for every licensed therapist sharing actual insights, there are ten people with zero credentials telling you that not texting someone back immediately means you're "avoidant" and need therapy.

The way this perfectly captures how we've turned everything into a disorder...

What Actual Therapists Think About All This

I asked my therapist about this trend (yes, I have one - plot twist!).

She said something that stuck with me: "Therapy language was developed for therapeutic settings. When you take it out of context and use it in everyday situations, it loses its meaning and can actually become harmful."

Harmful how?

Well, when everything is traumatic, nothing is. When everyone's a narcissist, the word means nothing. When we're all constantly triggered, we lose the ability to distinguish between genuine distress and mild discomfort.

Plus, using clinical terms casually can actually minimize the experiences of people dealing with real diagnoses. Someone with actual PTSD hearing you describe your "trauma" from a bad Tinder date? Yeah, that's not great.

The Accountability Problem

Here's what really bothers me about therapy speak culture.

It's created this weird loophole where people can avoid taking responsibility for anything. Every mistake, every hurtful action, every flaky behavior gets explained away with psychological terminology.

"I ghosted you because I was protecting my peace."
"I lied because I have trauma around confrontation."
"I can't commit because I'm healing my attachment wounds."

Like... okay but you still hurt someone? You can be working on yourself AND acknowledge that your actions affected others. These things aren't mutually exclusive.

Real growth involves both understanding your struggles and taking responsibility for your impact. Therapy speak without accountability is just making excuses with extra steps.

How to Use Mental Health Language Responsibly

Because here's the thing - I'm not saying we should go back to bottling everything up and never talking about feelings. That's not it either.

Mental health language CAN be helpful when used appropriately. So here's my take on doing it right:

Save clinical terms for clinical situations. Unless you have an actual diagnosis from an actual professional, maybe don't throw around terms like "bipolar," "OCD," or "sociopath." You can say someone's moody without calling them bipolar. You can say you like things organized without claiming OCD.

Remember that discomfort isn't trauma. Not everything that makes you uncomfortable is traumatic or triggering. Sometimes things are just... uncomfortable. And that's okay! We're allowed to feel uncomfortable without pathologizing it.

Boundaries are about you, not controlling others. A boundary is "I won't continue this conversation if you yell at me." It's NOT "You need to change how you talk to make me comfortable." See the difference?

Consider context. Therapy language works in therapy. It gets weird at happy hour. You can talk about your feelings without sounding like you're reading from the DSM-5.

Balance self-care with caring for others. Yes, prioritize your mental wellbeing and rest. But relationships require give and take. You can't therapy-speak your way out of being a good friend.

Finding the Balance

Look, I'm all for mental health awareness. Therapy has literally changed my life. I love that we can talk about feelings now without it being this huge taboo thing.

But maybe we can dial it back just a tiny bit?

Not everything needs to be analyzed through a psychological lens. Sometimes your friend is just venting and doesn't need you to diagnose their attachment style. Sometimes you're just in a bad mood and it's not a mental health crisis. Sometimes people are just annoying, not toxic narcissists.

We can care about mental health without turning every single interaction into a therapy session. We can set boundaries without weaponizing the concept. We can acknowledge our struggles without making them our entire personality.

And maybe - just maybe - we can recognize that being human is messy and complicated and doesn't always fit neatly into psychological frameworks. Sometimes you're not triggered, you're just hungry. Sometimes they're not gaslighting you, you just misunderstood. Sometimes you don't need to process your feelings about something, you just need to let it go.

Just like how recognizing genuine burnout is different from just having a tough week at work, we need to distinguish between actual mental health concerns and normal human experiences.

The Real Work of Healing

You know what's funny? All this therapy speak everywhere, but actual therapy is still really hard to access for most people.

Insurance doesn't cover it. Good therapists have waitlists months long. Sessions are expensive as hell. So we've got this weird situation where everyone's using therapy language but most people aren't actually in therapy.

Which means we're getting the vocabulary without the context, the diagnosis without the treatment, the awareness without the tools to actually deal with it.

Real healing isn't about learning the right buzzwords. It's about doing the actual uncomfortable work of understanding yourself, changing patterns, and growing. It's about sitting with difficult feelings instead of just labeling them and moving on.

It's about recognizing that sometimes the most healing thing you can do is NOT talk about your healing journey for five minutes and just like... live your life.

So What Now?

I'm not saying stop caring about mental health. I'm not saying never use psychological terms. I'm just saying... let's be more thoughtful about it?

Before you call something toxic, gaslighting, or traumatic - pause. Is it actually? Or are you just uncomfortable and reaching for the most dramatic word you know?

Before you set a boundary, ask yourself - is this a genuine limit I need to protect myself? Or am I just avoiding something difficult?

Before you diagnose someone (including yourself) based on a TikTok, remember that mental health is complex and nuanced. A 60-second video can't capture that.

And maybe, just maybe, we can start having normal conversations again without turning everything into a therapy session. Your friends aren't your therapists. Your therapist isn't your friend. And that's okay! They serve different purposes!

We can support each other's mental health without performing therapy on each other. We can be self-aware without being self-obsessed. We can heal without making it everyone else's problem.

Basically? Let's keep the mental health awareness but lose the therapy speak obsession.

Because honestly, constantly analyzing every interaction through a psychological lens is probably not great for anyone's mental health anyway.

And that's my unqualified opinion that I'm sharing with you as a friend, not as a mental health professional, because I'm not one, and that's the whole point.

Okay rant over.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go protect my energy by doom-scrolling TikTok for three hours. It's called self-care, look it up. 😏