Okay so.

Last month I watched Rihanna's manager negotiate a brand deal on some documentary and I literally paused it to take notes. Like, this woman secured an eight-figure partnership with the confidence of someone ordering coffee.

And I thought - why don't we talk about money like this at work?

We're out here accepting the first salary offer, saying "whatever works for you!" in emails, and wondering why our bank accounts look sad. Meanwhile, someone else in your exact role just negotiated a 40% raise because they knew how to ask.

Wild, honestly.

The Thing Nobody Tells You About Negotiating

Here's what I learned the hard way: negotiation isn't about being aggressive or pushy. It's about knowing your worth and communicating it clearly.

I used to think "good work speaks for itself."

Lol.

It doesn't. You have to speak for your work. You have to be your own hype person, your own agent, your own Rihanna's-business-manager energy.

The first time I tried negotiating, I literally apologized three times in one email. "Sorry to bother you, but..." "I hope this isn't too much to ask..." "Sorry again for bringing this up..."

Yikes.

Do Your Homework (Seriously)

Before any negotiation, you need data. Real numbers. Market rates. Not what you think you deserve based on vibes.

I spent hours researching salary ranges for my role. Checked Glassdoor, talked to people in similar positions, looked at industry pay databases. Turns out I was being underpaid by like $15K.

Fifteen. Thousand. Dollars.

The rage fueled my entire negotiation strategy tbh.

Know these numbers before you walk into that meeting:

• Industry standard for your role and experience level
• What competitors are paying (yes, stalk LinkedIn job postings)
• Your company's salary range if possible
• Cost of living adjustments for your city

Knowledge is literally power here. When you can say "based on market research, roles like mine typically earn between X and Y," you sound like someone who did their homework.

Not someone making up numbers.

Timing Is Everything

You know what's worse than not negotiating? Negotiating at the wrong time.

I once tried to negotiate a raise right after our company announced budget cuts. Genius move, right? My manager looked at me like I'd suggested we all get pet unicorns.

Best times to negotiate:

After a major win. Just closed a huge deal? Launched a successful project? Saved the company money? Strike while you're still the office hero.

During performance reviews. They're literally already evaluating your worth. Perfect timing to discuss compensation.

When you get a job offer. This is your golden window. Never accept the first offer. Ever. Even if it seems good.

After taking on more responsibilities. Your job description changed but your salary didn't? That's your cue.

Bad times: During company layoffs, right after you messed something up, or when your manager is clearly having the worst day ever.

Read the room, you know?

The Script That Actually Works

Okay here's the thing about negotiation scripts - they feel weird and robotic at first. But having a framework helps when your brain goes blank from nerves.

I literally practiced my negotiation pitch in the mirror like I was auditioning for something. My roommate walked in and thought I'd lost it.

But it worked.

Here's the basic structure I use:

Start with appreciation. "I really value being part of this team and the opportunities I've had here."

State your case clearly. "Based on my research and the increased responsibilities I've taken on, I'd like to discuss my compensation."

Present your number. "I'm looking for a salary of $X, which aligns with market rates for my experience level and contributions."

Provide evidence. List your wins, your impact, your growth. Numbers are your best friend here.

Stay quiet. This is the hardest part. After you state your ask, STOP TALKING. Let them respond first.

The silence feels like forever but don't fill it with nervous rambling or backtracking.

Trust me on this one.

It's Not Just About Money

Plot twist - sometimes the best negotiation wins aren't salary increases.

When my company said they couldn't budge on salary, I negotiated:

• An extra week of PTO
• Full remote flexibility (this was huge)
• Professional development budget
• Flexible hours
• Better title that helped my resume

Some of these perks literally changed my quality of life more than a small raise would have. Especially the remote work flexibility - that alone saved me thousands in commuting costs and gave me back hours each week.

Think about what actually matters to you. Is it work-life balance? Career growth? Learning opportunities?

Everything is negotiable if you ask.

When They Say No

Real talk - sometimes they'll say no.

And it sucks.

But here's what you do: ask why. Ask what you need to do to get there. Ask when you can revisit the conversation.

"I understand. Can you help me understand what would need to change for this to be possible? What goals should I focus on, and when can we discuss this again?"

This shows you're serious and gives you a roadmap. Plus, it puts the ball back in their court.

If they give you vague answers or keep saying "maybe later" without specifics? That's valuable information too. Might be time to start looking at other income opportunities or updating that resume.

I'm not saying quit immediately. But pay attention to patterns.

Practice Makes Less Awkward

Nobody is born knowing how to negotiate. It's a skill you build.

My first negotiation attempt was a disaster. I got flustered, forgot half my points, and ended up accepting way less than I wanted because I panicked.

But each time got easier.

Start small if you need to. Negotiate with vendors, practice networking conversations, ask for upgrades or discounts in low-stakes situations.

The more you do it, the less scary it becomes.

I now negotiate literally everything. Hotel rates, freelance contracts, subscription prices. Not in an annoying way - just in a "hey, is there any flexibility here?" way.

Usually there is.

The Confidence Thing

Look, I get it. Walking into a negotiation feels terrifying.

You're worried they'll think you're ungrateful. Or demanding. Or that they'll just say no and you'll have made things awkward for nothing.

But here's what I realized: companies negotiate all the time. With vendors, clients, partners. It's just business to them.

The only person making it weird is you.

(Me. I was making it weird.)

They expect you to negotiate. Especially for bigger roles. If you don't, they actually might wonder if you know your value.

One of my friends got a job offer and accepted it immediately without negotiating. Her new boss later told her she was surprised she didn't try to negotiate - it made her seem less confident than they'd expected.

Ouch.

What I Wish I'd Known Earlier

If I could go back and tell younger me anything about negotiating, it would be this:

Your employer isn't doing you a favor by paying you. You're providing value in exchange for compensation. It's a business transaction.

Stop treating your salary like a gift you should be grateful for.

You're not being difficult or demanding by advocating for yourself. You're being professional.

And honestly? The worst they can say is no. You'll still have your current situation. But you might also get a yes that changes everything.

I think about all the money I left on the table in my twenties because I was too scared to ask. It's probably enough for a down payment on a house at this point.

Don't be me.

The Follow-Up

After your negotiation meeting, always send a follow-up email summarizing what you discussed.

"Thanks for taking the time to discuss my compensation today. To confirm, we agreed on [specific details]. I'm looking forward to [next steps]."

This creates a paper trail and ensures everyone's on the same page. Plus it shows you're organized and professional.

If they said they needed time to think about it, ask for a specific timeline. "When should I expect to hear back?" is a totally reasonable question.

Don't let it turn into one of those "we'll circle back" situations that never actually circles back.

Your Worth Isn't Up for Debate

Here's the thing that took me forever to learn: you don't need permission to know your worth.

You don't need your manager to validate it. You don't need your company to confirm it.

You know what you bring to the table. The market knows what people with your skills are worth. Those are facts.

Negotiating isn't convincing someone to give you something you don't deserve. It's ensuring you're compensated fairly for the value you already provide.

Big difference.

So yeah. Channel your inner Rihanna's business manager. Know your numbers, practice your pitch, and ask for what you're worth.

The worst they can say is no.

But they might say yes.

And that yes could change everything.